Where my Memories lies

He: hey whr r u..pls tlk to me..i mis u a lot..

<sending message>

<message sent>

<waiting...waiting>

<1 new message>

She: Listen i don wnt 2 tlk 2 u n gt dat straight. the things u hd done so far is enuf to end our reltnship..so gud bye n nevr col me again....

Sometime life teaches us some lesson and sometime it can be harsh on you.Poeple say that true friends do stand behind you during your worst times.I always had good set of friends since school days and many have been helpful at times. They do understand me and realize the worth of our friendship.But when it comes to missing, they do miss me at times.

During my stay in Delhi ,I should seriously admit that I have never missed my friends.Though most of them are added in my Facebook and many of them are in touch through Texts and emails,I seldom miss them. But out of these true lot of friends I do having few other special ones whom I could differentiate. They are those unique friend of mine who really matters to me.

During my college days I befriended a girl from Dehradun.I would rather love to say that our thought process were similar, in most cases both of our minds functions in same direction but also sometime conflicting. She was someone whom I could look forward in my life. But harsh reality is that I lost her,lost her friendship.I just hate reality, it hurts. There has not been even a single day when we hadn't talked or texted each other. I want to thanks Gtalk and Yahoo messenger along with Mr. Ambani for introducing night tariffs in Reliance because they have played a pivotal role in bonding us. We were like good friends and eventually good got replaced by best. Nevertheless I have got very few best friends in life who I can count on and all of them are special to me. I can't afford to lose even a single one. She would share her secrets with me and rather I would do the same. There used to be an instant solution to every problem which you present to her. Such an intelligent girl she was. I discovered her in some Orkut I MISS MY HOME community way back in 2007. That was the time when I was preparing for my MCA finals. She was from Law background, and by that time I started liking Law thing more than MCA only because she belonged to that stream. I will admit that I used to google law terms to impress her. During one discussion forum, we happen to exchange thoughts and the outcome was a friend request.It didn't really mattered who send the request but what mattered was friendship.We would talk to each other frequently and again all thanks to Gtalk for being a great messenger friend.

During one of her internship in Delhi I got a chance to meet her. A dream come true. I must say I spent quality time of my life with her. As it is said life is an ocean and good times are like dew. Those 45 days with her passed like 4 days. A smile is followed by tears and good times followed by bad. Its something natural and I by no means different from nature only if you understand what i mean to say.

Just after her arrival from Delhi some disgraceful events happened between us and she decided not to talk to me. I was neither convinced with this decision of hers nor I wanted to stop talking to her.I failed to realize that she would take my statements seriously.  During most phases of my life, I have taken utmost care to make sure that I don't hurt any one by any means.But that day I just got mad at her.The end result was that I lost her.Now I didn't remember when I had last good talk with her. Yesterday reading those old chats made me smile. I shouldn't had read those. This made me feel nostalgic.I searched for her in Facebook but learned she had deleted me from her friend-list a long back, even today I try to contact her in Gtalk, the same Gtalk who played the vast role in our friendship now does not replies me back because I resides in her Gtalk block list. Now whenever I call or send any message she reply with 'why are you texting me, I don't want to talk to you'. I felt helpless.I try texting her again and again and try to win her heart once again. She is stubborn and damn serious. We shared a great bond of friendship between us. But it ends like a dream. I have lot of question somewhere at bottom of my heart, 'Trust' and 'Loyalty' is only pillars on which any relationship stands supported by 'Understanding' and 'Forgiveness'.

If I was wrong that time then was she not suppose to forgive me?? <Like I want>

At the end of the day does she ever feel a tinniest bit of urge to talk to me again?? <Like I do>

Do I ever cross her mind just only for a flash of second?? <Like happens with me>

A lot of questions for which I am still finding a answer for and I know it will always be a question only.

I just realized that I had to apologize. I could be such a sinister at times. She made me realize that. It was my mistake. I really want my friend back. But some do say that its better to move on in life. Looking back doesn't pleases you.It will distract you. Often the best relationship breaks in an unusual way. Looking back hurts you and distracts you. I never intend to hurt her ever again. All I wanted to do is to apologize.I sometimes wish if it was easy to lose friends in life. But I myself have lost many dear ones.

I didn't want to say,

But you made me say.

You cried out of your own plight,

making me feel guilty

You hurted me with your words,

but when i replied back,

you ignored me.

All I want to say ,

Sorry for what happened.

Wish you luck.

It often happens but I always failed to understand why is that human heart sometimes subjected to unavoidable conditions fails to respond back rationally. If I had not hurted her she would have still been mine. Now I can say emotions do have roles in hurting others and their role is significant. And when the person fades away from you life, then that is the time you realize their worth and think about their importance. It strange when some dear one get vanished from our life then whole world looks deserted. Now I can say I know the word 'Hell', rather say I am in hell.

I woke up one day and saw the world change. My friends disappeared and I was stranded between strangers.My circle of trust seemed to be diminishing. And I found myself lost in loneliness.

"I don't know will she read this post or not but I wanted her to say that I am very sorry for what happened between us. I so want you back in my life. I tried to forget you big times but you were made UNFORGETTABLE"..*<miss you>*

                                                                                                                                       #Mon : 4:28 am