I usually have a feeling that nothing ever works out. and, mostly it isn't true.
Very
recently, I took an interview for a very prestigious institution of India. I didn't clear my second round. That's
it. However it was important for me to get through it, I wanted to get through because I wanted something for myself from myself. and, I had been waiting for this for a very long time. It is just that I need some time to get out of all this.
Anyways, it didn't happen I said to myself.
The waiting lists come out, and I had not been made way to that, I would have still managed to continue. But, with this, I am stuck back again.
There
was a time when the result seeped into me and turned me into an emotional
turmoil. But, now I feel just fine. I have accepted it as it is. I just
didn't get through.
That
result has nothing to do with my self-confidence, nothing to do with my future
success, and it most certainly has nothing to do with what I think about
myself. Of
course, if I didn't get through one exam, there will be another exam to
take. There
will another round of late night studies to go through with. And, there will be
another round of questions that I will have to answer.
It most
certainly won't end just there.
And, I will be there to do it all over again. Of course, this time, I will be a bit
more cautious, a bit more prepared.
Come to
think of it, life is so much similar to taking an exam.
There's
the preparation, the anticipation, the fear of failure, the excitement of being
closer to a dream, the actual test, and then the result, and then the
consequences. When it
comes to life, we are just so much more forgetful.
It is
so much more soothing to know that we are moving on with life... whatever comes
with it always has a lesson, always has something important.
For me,
that failure was a means to let me understand what I want from myself. I want
to hold onto my beliefs, No matter how strong the opposition is. There
will be a place where I fit in.
If there ain't, well, we will make a place for
ourselves.
Because, I got some things, some good things, despite that one single failure it all
works well in the end.
Yes, I can....and that is true.
(#sun 1:40 am)
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