Where my Memories lies

Have you imagined what if for one moment, we stop everything we are thinking, doing what are we doing, and just listen to the last of the birds flying home? What if we decide not to call ourselves stupid at the next mistake that we make? What could happen, if for the next two hours, we decide to do everything that our heart wants and nothing besides that?
We let ourselves handled by this world, don't we? We tie ourselves to the yes' and the no's, the wants and the don't wants, we pull ourselves and we push ourselves down.
We forget that we have a sparkle within us that just wants to shine.
Recently, I learned that I had developed a wrong habit. I had started using the word failure a lot. Couldn't open a bottle of ketchup.Failure. Couldn't solve the morning sudoku. Failure. Couldn't get through an exam. Failure. Getting the phone number busy. Failure. Didn't found my wallet. Failure. Didn't call my friend. Failure. Not getting a suitable title. Failure. Didn't. Failure. Couldn't. Failure. Shouldn't. Failure. Can't. Failure. Failure.
That one word ruled my vocabulary. It ruled like it shouldn't have ruled. It ruled like I was at the end of my end. It ruled like there were no better words available.Mostly its like I had given up. Forever.
It was an emotional day yesterday. Failure, I had been. Once again.
But, there was something different. Something changed. Maybe, it was just me. Or, maybe it was the moment. I wanted to getaway from all this... this constant losing out on the reality, this constant shuttling, this baggage of emotions that saw no place, time,or person.
I sipped my cup of tea- its bland aroma rising,opening my senses.
I opened a self-help book (one, my brother had given me once) and even though I was skeptical about it, I read a few pages. They were simple things- the things I usually tell my friends when they have a bad day, but they were also the things that I forget to tell myself when I am having a bad day. I continued to read for another half an hour, repeating to myself what I needed to leave behind and what I had to hold onto.
That is when I came across that word failure and I realized how much I had let it control my life, my world.
When I kept the book down, I felt a little better. Maybe, it was just recognizing what I was doing wrong or maybe it was just that I had needed someone to tell me the right things...

" Sometimes it takes someone telling you that you deserve that freedom. So I'm granting it to you today! Continue to hope and dream and know that this life will be what was destined for you. Believe it. ",

I knew it was a sign.
A sign to set myself free from the self-imposed judgments.
A sign to stop seeking freedom and actually start feeling it.
I tried to concentrate. I think. And, I felt free... calm, composed, open.
I am deciding to delete failure from my vocabulary. I am deciding that that word is never going to show up.