Where my Memories lies

 

Something's really is going wrong, and I don't know what it is. Have you ever get that nervous feeling when you don't know what to do anymore, and you don't even know why you're so finicky?  Probably no, but I get this way sometimes. Its like, there's some place I might need to be, someone I'd wanna talk to, something I've forgotten to do, something I shouldn't have done, aaaaaaahhhh , feels like screaming, but I don't know what, or who, or why or where or how.
Its just like half-baked sort of feeling, you know, a sense of incompleteness. I mean, I know everything's going well with me right now, but there's something that I can't put my finger on, that's bugging me. Like I just updated in my Facebook status (I have no fucking idea why I bother to do it), I somehow can't sleep. I just can't sleep, and its doing all sorts of things to my head. I feel so fidgety. I don't wanna lie down, I don't wanna sit up, I don't wanna turn on the lights, I don't wanna be in the dark.  

What the fuck man, why do I have these tiny bouts of uncertainty?

I think I'm a guy defined or rather undefined by my moods. Everything, absolutely every bloody thing for me depends on my mood, subconsciously or not. My music, my reading, my watching TV, the kind of food I eat, the way I behave, and now I'm wondering whether or not to put this write-up on the blog, you know, so people don't think I'm crazy. It doesn't matter though, just few handful reads this freaking blog anyway, and they know me well, or so they would think.

I'm not that much of a social scientist, and I'm not even sure if that's a valid job, maybe just a make-belief one. But I was once thinking about this thing, and I figured I should note it down. 

People are unhappy. They just are. They always will be. They are bloody unsatisfied too, always yearning for more, for something else, for that greener grass. Have you ever stopped and wondered why? Well, being at the crossroads of life that I am, I'm like the stationary milestone who's watching everyone else rush past, absorbed in their own unimportant lives.
Anyhow, the point is, unhappiness is caused by dissatisfaction. It may be from anything. Dissatisfaction is caused by envy. Yep, you heard me ENVY . Everyone, atleast the mortals, ( laugh, people) are envious of something, their neighbors' bigger car, their friends' glam lifestyle, their boss' hot wife. You get my point, don't you.  

Now don't get me wrong, its perfectly natural and true for everyone of us. And it is this envy, that makes us do what we do. There is always a point or a position in life that we strive to achieve. Its upto us though, the way we do it.
 

There are two basic approaches to deal with this yearning.

First, you let the envy get hold of you, to the extent of making you unhappy, so you actively work towards your goal.
Second, you get unhappy, you stay unhappy, then you make up your mind that you are never gonna achieve that position anyway, and might as well be happy with the bird in hand. THIS, should finally push you into a state of stability (if you're an optimist) or Stagnancy (if you think like a pessimist) and thus, you will stop trying to struggle, and force yourself to be happy.

Which one is the better path, I find myself thinking. Should I continue to be unhappy, and keep struggling to get there? Or should I just be happy and chill? Will it make me stable? Or will it push me towards stagnancy/motionless?
Think about what you wanna do. Of course, for most of us the choice of the approach is inbuilt. As in its in your genes, if you are a fighter, or if you are a content individual. A subconscious choice, rather. However, if you're one of the few people who can make an effort and choose, then go ahead . Wish you all the love and luck.

I think I need some love and luck too, while I'm talking about it.
Did I ever tell you (the "you" being the hypothetical creatures who read this) that I write to vent out? See, I was so unknowingly disturbed just a few minutes ago, and now I feel much more peaceful. Sleep's starting to set in too. I better say bye now. Another day, Another thought.
I really hope I will have a good time tomorrow.
 

 (# 12 Dec 1:10am)