Life has taken a U Turn, April 2013 Feels like I am standing at the same point where I stood six years back. No it's not about joining a new job. But currently I am facing yet another cross road. I remember the words "to be or not to be" well yeah they are the famous words, but I remember someone close say these to me and today, not exactly today but in the recent times I have these words crossing my mind quite often.
How does it feel if you find yourself in a situation where you were six years back ??
I had come to Delhi, no friends, not even a single known face. Now after all six years I feel the same. I am still at Delhi for those who might wonder where I am currently but I still feel the same. Not many people I know and that's in a very literal way I mean it. Not many know me in fact no one knows me.
Who I am. I am lost somewhere. Recently I shifted my flat. This time with a roommate, old buddies left to the other part of the city. The only reason of parting from my friends was to stay close to offic, but in vain, every effort to make my wishes work fails.
Coming back to Delhi after flat 1 year seems like its a transfer to me. New flat, new people in neighbor, at office.
Though people whom I meet are my team mates, but I use to meet them only at my cubical or team hurdle, they no longer resides in my memory once I leave my office. I still have the phone numbers of all my old buddies in which half of them are not in use but having them in my phone-book gives a feeling of familiarity. Coming Delhi this time is like a completely new experience for me, though hectic it teaches you many things in life. You get to see that you are not the only person who is around working hard, there are even people who have been doing the same thing since ages..just for their families.
Living jobless for one year in Bokaro was all hell and I felt the urge to get back to Delhi, at least I could do something for my family and for myself. After all that’s why we exist, moreover, today or tomorrow I would be changing my job and would go to some other company, meantime, I am missing S very much and probably my missing her these days is making me to feel this U turn feeling, she had been there with me since long and its long time I had her any news and after long two years of togetherness I ought to have this void around me.
There seems to be too much of confusion. First, I know switch is not that a tough thing to do even during this tough market scenario but even after a switch I will be at the same place where I am today. I wont get to be a CEO instantly and it wouldn't help me personally either nothing gonna change. I know this can be best thing I can do. but I don’t know why I fail to put in the effort may be its because of complacency, of the backup that I have in form of a job. I need to burn my boats, close all the options. I know I have it in me but nothing is achieved without hard work so I need to put in effort. But somewhere I too don’t feel to change my direction when I have already invested my four years somewhere else. How is this going to help? Shouldn't I carry on in the same domain. In the outsourcing rather than getting into technology?? But I do realize that we at outsourcing don’t have something great at our hand, even a 10th grade student can do the same if given training for a month and if he knows how to handle a PC nothing great..And funny it may sound somewhere in the back of my mind…I too think I should give it a try for civil services, But I feel I have a kind of inclination towards the arts subjects, sociology, philosophy, psychology, history (though I am very poor at memorizing), geography but it’s a tough nut to crack when I have least idea about such subject.
Currently, every day ahead is so very blank like never before..so very confused…I feel I need to have an opinion poll…Please suggest!
Coming back to Delhi after flat 1 year seems like its a transfer to me. New flat, new people in neighbor, at office.
Though people whom I meet are my team mates, but I use to meet them only at my cubical or team hurdle, they no longer resides in my memory once I leave my office. I still have the phone numbers of all my old buddies in which half of them are not in use but having them in my phone-book gives a feeling of familiarity. Coming Delhi this time is like a completely new experience for me, though hectic it teaches you many things in life. You get to see that you are not the only person who is around working hard, there are even people who have been doing the same thing since ages..just for their families.
Living jobless for one year in Bokaro was all hell and I felt the urge to get back to Delhi, at least I could do something for my family and for myself. After all that’s why we exist, moreover, today or tomorrow I would be changing my job and would go to some other company, meantime, I am missing S very much and probably my missing her these days is making me to feel this U turn feeling, she had been there with me since long and its long time I had her any news and after long two years of togetherness I ought to have this void around me.
There seems to be too much of confusion. First, I know switch is not that a tough thing to do even during this tough market scenario but even after a switch I will be at the same place where I am today. I wont get to be a CEO instantly and it wouldn't help me personally either nothing gonna change. I know this can be best thing I can do. but I don’t know why I fail to put in the effort may be its because of complacency, of the backup that I have in form of a job. I need to burn my boats, close all the options. I know I have it in me but nothing is achieved without hard work so I need to put in effort. But somewhere I too don’t feel to change my direction when I have already invested my four years somewhere else. How is this going to help? Shouldn't I carry on in the same domain. In the outsourcing rather than getting into technology?? But I do realize that we at outsourcing don’t have something great at our hand, even a 10th grade student can do the same if given training for a month and if he knows how to handle a PC nothing great..And funny it may sound somewhere in the back of my mind…I too think I should give it a try for civil services, But I feel I have a kind of inclination towards the arts subjects, sociology, philosophy, psychology, history (though I am very poor at memorizing), geography but it’s a tough nut to crack when I have least idea about such subject.
Currently, every day ahead is so very blank like never before..so very confused…I feel I need to have an opinion poll…Please suggest!
(#Mon 17jun 12:55am)
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